IS ‘HOWDY’ SHORT FOR ‘HOW DO YOU DO’
are you fucking kidding me right now
(via 22channel42)
[WINNIE THE POOH VOICE] there’s a reason that ‘pooh’ is ‘hoop’ backwards *turns around and slam dunks basketball straight through the hoop*
[PIGLET VOICE] damn my nigga
(via 22channel42)
| (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.) | |
| Angry Customer: | “Damn f**s.” |
| Gay Man: | “Excuse me?” |
| Angry Customer: | “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.” |
| Gay Man: | *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?” |
| Angry Customer: | “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.” |
| (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.) | |
| Angry Customer: | *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?” |
| (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.) | |
| Owner: | “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.” |
| Wife: | “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—” |
| Owner: | “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.” |
| (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.) |
the thing in the world i most despise is when you’re trying to get ketchup out of the bottle but the little ketchup juice comes out
that’s fucking disgusting
i dont want your ketchup pre-cum
stop that
(Source: funimationentertainment, via fullofquestionsss)